Sunday, January 13, 2013

Movie Jail Relay Race


Yes, yes, I'm back. (We'll save all of that for later, okay?) Anyway, Nikhat passed on the baton for this relay race to yours truly. The concept is simple:
It’s time to put some movie people in jail. The object is to give a prosecutor’s argument as to why these movie people belong in “Movie Jail” whether it be for violating the integrity of the content source of one their films, or being a sell-out, just making bad movies overall, getting worse as time goes on or not being in a good movie for many years. 


The baton will be passed to another blogger who will have to do the following: 
In order to free someone from Movie Jail they have to do 2 things 
1 – Give a defense attorney argument defending the plaintiff 
2 – Pay bail: the cost of which is another case for the court and a prosecutor’s argument against the actor/director of their choice that will replace the one set free. 
There must always be 10 people in Movie Jail.
Who's behind bars now?

George Lucas
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer
Jennifer Aniston
Sam Worthington
Tom Cruise
Adam Sandler
Eddie Murphy
Raja Gosnell
Katherine Heigl
Now which of these convicted criminals is actually wrongfully jailed? A few of them I sympathize for because they have that one film in their resume that could pardon them for any of their flops. I mean, Cruise has Magnolia, Worthington has Last Night, even Sandler has a good title in the form of Punch-Drunk Love. (Maybe working with Paul Thomas Anderson is the solution?) This is what I'm using as my defense for my case: Al Pacino.


Really, Alex? You "jailed" an actor whose resume has films like The Panic in Needle ParkThe Godfather, Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon, Glengarry Glen Ross, Carlito's WayHeat AND The Insider? I mean, yes, his recent career is sloppy but you just can't deny those earlier films of his.

Now who will be occupying Pacino's former cell? It's not easy to come up with a worthy suspect, I'll admit it. But it soon became obviously clear once I thought about it.


Your Honor, I charge Michael Bay for failing to significantly contribute to the world of cinema. (No wonder people think it's dying.) He shows no interest in anything apart from over-sexualizing women and blowing shit up. And his movies are crap. If that doesn't deserve jail time, I don't know what does.

Right, so who did this already?

I'm passing this on to Ruth over at "....let's be splendid about this...". I look forward to her choices.

15 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you rescued Pacino, I was rather sad everyone wanted him in! His recent career moves may not even be comparable to his early times, but I don't think it's nearly as bad as everyone claims it is. He's had some left turns since Insomnia, yes, but Two For the Money was okay, Jack and Jill was weird but still funny, and it seems like he has redeemed himself with Stand Up Guys (haven't seen it, but it's been praised... by some). Plus, all the other films he's made in the XXI century were not terribly bad.

    Either way, Pacino is gold standard for life, he can do whatever he wants.

    I'm not a fan of Michael Bay's films, so I can't really complain about your pick there.

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    1. I have a feeling we'll be getting along just fine.

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  2. Great choices! Pacino's early work definitely merits his release.

    While Armageddon and The Rock are guilty pleasures, Bay totally deserves to be in movie jail. Pain & Gain and Transformers 4 on the way? No thanks.

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  3. YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  4. Hah! I was wondering how long it would take for someone to incarcerate Michael Bay!

    You nailed it here: "He shows no interest in anything apart from over-sexualizing women and blowing shit up. And his movies are crap." Really ... what more is there to say?

    Great post!

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    1. I'm surprised no one even thought of putting him in jail yet.

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  5. Hmm...it's becoming a very difficult decision as to who to 'bail out'....

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    1. You'll think of the right choice. I trust you.

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  6. Michael Bay I can understand. esp with some of the things he's done and will do (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles), but he's also had some fun films such as The Rock, The Island, the first Transformers.

    shoulda put Kristen Stewart into jail. :)

    Thanks for playing! This is fun.

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    1. Well, Stewart *was* in jail for a while. Someone decided to bail her out.

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    2. true. and someone has now put her back. :)

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  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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